Rhythm
I am searching for rhythm. And I don’t mean that I can’t dance. (Although, who knows, I could look like Elaine from Seinfeld and no one has ever had the heart to tell me?) I mean like an internal, spiritual, daily kind of rhythm. It’s all around me. I watch my son rise and sleep at the same exact times everyday. I watch him melt down if he gets off schedule. I watch the trees outside of our tree house here in Clifton turn with the seasons. I watch kids in our neighborhood fall into the “non-rhythm” rhythm of summer-break and then watch as they shop for new clothes, gather notebooks and paper and pens and start back to school. I watch as the girl next door diligently plants vegetables in our garden, waters them, waits for them to grow and now picks and enjoys the fruits of nature’s natural rhythm.
Over the course of the last several years I have raced through the paperwork to adopt two children and then waited while someone else decided if it was time for me to have children. In the last 3 years I have had a total of 3 jobs. One where my hours jumped around from 30 to 12 to 20 to 12. Another where I worked 10 hours a week for 10 months out of the year, 20 hours for a month and then put in 130 hours over two weeks followed by a month of vacation. Over the last 3 years my husband and I finished the renovation on one house, got comfortable and then bought an even bigger project to renovate. We have spent the last 9 months renovating said house. Then we let 4 people move in and are learning to live in Community. Last year we adopted our son, spending 5 weeks in a foreign country returning home just after we had developed some sort of daily routine there. Upon our return I immediately started a new job. We are returning to Colombia this week for 4-6 weeks to adopt our second son. And did I mention that we are planting a church? We were meeting monthly, but just went to every third week. When we return from our 4-6 week stay in Colombia we will go to bi-monthly – for a few months – then, of course, we will meet weekly.
It may all seem exciting to you, the reader. Or, it may seem exhausting. But either way, I dare you to find the rhythm in it all. I dare you!
Quite frankly I am sick of it! I am sick of things changing. I am sick of adapting to the new thing. Sick of arranging and rearranging schedules to accommodate the latest disruption, the newest “must do.”
I’d like to plant that garden and watch it grow. I’d like to nap everyday at two and get to throw a fit if no one carries me upstairs and lays me in bed. I’d like to anticipate the change of the season, and then sit in my tree house, or better yet, sit outside among those tress, and actually watch the leaves change colors. I’d like to know that on Wednesdays we meet friends at the park and Sundays we go grocery shopping and that no disruption or new schedule conflict is going to change that.
I have vowed to seek out and embrace a rhythm in my life. I have vowed to enjoy being the mother of two children. I have vowed to let them teach me about the ebb and flow of daily life; to let them lead me along in their adventures of discovering life one moment at a time instead of one “chunk” at a time.
I understand it will be a daily struggle and that sometimes the chaos and randomness of life will get in the way and will knock me off balance. But I am going to try. I am going to find rhythm. Stay tuned.
B
I am searching for rhythm. And I don’t mean that I can’t dance. (Although, who knows, I could look like Elaine from Seinfeld and no one has ever had the heart to tell me?) I mean like an internal, spiritual, daily kind of rhythm. It’s all around me. I watch my son rise and sleep at the same exact times everyday. I watch him melt down if he gets off schedule. I watch the trees outside of our tree house here in Clifton turn with the seasons. I watch kids in our neighborhood fall into the “non-rhythm” rhythm of summer-break and then watch as they shop for new clothes, gather notebooks and paper and pens and start back to school. I watch as the girl next door diligently plants vegetables in our garden, waters them, waits for them to grow and now picks and enjoys the fruits of nature’s natural rhythm.
Over the course of the last several years I have raced through the paperwork to adopt two children and then waited while someone else decided if it was time for me to have children. In the last 3 years I have had a total of 3 jobs. One where my hours jumped around from 30 to 12 to 20 to 12. Another where I worked 10 hours a week for 10 months out of the year, 20 hours for a month and then put in 130 hours over two weeks followed by a month of vacation. Over the last 3 years my husband and I finished the renovation on one house, got comfortable and then bought an even bigger project to renovate. We have spent the last 9 months renovating said house. Then we let 4 people move in and are learning to live in Community. Last year we adopted our son, spending 5 weeks in a foreign country returning home just after we had developed some sort of daily routine there. Upon our return I immediately started a new job. We are returning to Colombia this week for 4-6 weeks to adopt our second son. And did I mention that we are planting a church? We were meeting monthly, but just went to every third week. When we return from our 4-6 week stay in Colombia we will go to bi-monthly – for a few months – then, of course, we will meet weekly.
It may all seem exciting to you, the reader. Or, it may seem exhausting. But either way, I dare you to find the rhythm in it all. I dare you!
Quite frankly I am sick of it! I am sick of things changing. I am sick of adapting to the new thing. Sick of arranging and rearranging schedules to accommodate the latest disruption, the newest “must do.”
I’d like to plant that garden and watch it grow. I’d like to nap everyday at two and get to throw a fit if no one carries me upstairs and lays me in bed. I’d like to anticipate the change of the season, and then sit in my tree house, or better yet, sit outside among those tress, and actually watch the leaves change colors. I’d like to know that on Wednesdays we meet friends at the park and Sundays we go grocery shopping and that no disruption or new schedule conflict is going to change that.
I have vowed to seek out and embrace a rhythm in my life. I have vowed to enjoy being the mother of two children. I have vowed to let them teach me about the ebb and flow of daily life; to let them lead me along in their adventures of discovering life one moment at a time instead of one “chunk” at a time.
I understand it will be a daily struggle and that sometimes the chaos and randomness of life will get in the way and will knock me off balance. But I am going to try. I am going to find rhythm. Stay tuned.
B
posted by D'Vine Missions at 7:42 PM
7 Comments:
I think we've found the real writer in the house. You should do it more often.
Amen to that, Steve. Now I really look forward to hearing more from you, Brooke! I am sure I will learn a lot as I get to watch you walk the path of finding your rhythm as a wife, mother, and friend.
It's so funny how you talk about finding rhythm in your life...because right now i think i am searching for choas. Yes rhthym is great but it's the same old thing day after day and there are no "suprises" to life.
But I hope and pray that you fin rhthym in your life.
Love ya!
I'm waiting for the rhythm of a slow dance, but I'm loving the industrial/techno pace, too. (Guess that terminology dates me, but I don't care!)
It seems I get used to the pace and then it mixes into something else, and I begin to lose myself and become a part of the rhythm and the crowd.
Trust me, we're staying tuned in to the CPW...
i can relate... traveling so much this summer threw me way off rhythm. but now i'm off the road and reclaiming that a bit... so here's hoping you can get a sense of the beat. :)
I am all for house nap time! I love the post. There is something to be said about the necessity of rhythm... That's one of the reasons I love going back to school. Although the rhythm is more intense, it is at least a steady one. I look forward to seeing the rhythm you find upon your return!
nothing is constant, except the Lord. i know you know that-but comparably your life mimics that of Christ and His disciples more than anything within that sense of complacency or stillness could ever offer! how phenomally you put pieces, and i'm certain people, together. He knows the desires of your heart, and i'm certain they are the first thing on His mind in the morning, and in the evening-and He is glowing to think of how His daughter is now blessing her children, her community, her friends-He has taught you well and is proud of your sacrifices-He'll give you time, i'm certain of it.
my advice-hide in the treehouse for awhile!
Post a Comment
<< Home